I stopped counting after 25 though I know ageing is inevitable, I still feel the drag of me counting the years remaining in my fertile years.
As a woman, this is our struggle. IF you are married and doesn’t have kids, your birthday can be a bit stressful for you knowing that you have less eggs and less chances. Me and my husband have been trying for X years now and we are still praying continuously to be blessed with an angel. On times like this, the only hand that we can hold on to is our God. It’s hard, not knowing the “WHEN” but we make it easy by knowing the “WHO” to trust.
I always ask A this question: What if God decides not to give us a child?, by Gods grace, A always responds the same: You will always be enough for me… the sweetest thing right? but of course we are still not letting go of this desire in our hearts as we haven’t really venture to all of the options that are available now. Don’t get me wrong, for every cycle that I have comes with disappointment and discouragement. People always asks us on when and if we have problems but we had everything checked and everything is A OK… on the other hand sometimes people will give positive comments / encouragements like, it’s ok.. other couple had to wait 10 years to have a child.. which to be honest, doesn’t really console me.
Having this want is a burden for me, and I always pray that God will change my heart to be aligned to HIS plans instead. I just want to forget my wants and cling to His ways instead. Human as I am though, this prayer will be my constant prayer till I become 50.
Anyway, Happy Birthday To ME!